Harry Potter- "Warrington's got such bad aim that I'd be more worried if he was aiming for the person next to me!"

Ginny- "It looks like he's eating her face, doesn't it? But I suppose he's got to refine his technique somehow."

Ron- "I think I'm in love with her. Have you seen her hair, it's all black and shiny and silky... and her eyes? Her big dark eyes? And her-"

Ron- "Women." Hermione- "And yet I doubt you'd find a woman who sulked for a whole half hour after Madam Rosmerta didn't laugh at their joke about the __ the __ and the hag."

(sorry about that, I couldn't remember those words, I 'll look them up as soon as I can.)

Molly Weasley- "Fine, go naked. And Harry make sure you get a good picture of him. Goodness knows I could do with a laugh."

Molly Weasley- "Well it is a bit long, dear. If you just let me-"

Molly Weasley- "If I get one more letter telling me you've...blown up a toilet seat, or - "

Molly Weasley- "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THAT'S THE GENERAL IDEA?"

Sign at Weasley Wizard Weezes- Why are you worrying about You-Know-Who when you should be worrying about U-No-Poo the constipation sensation that's gripping the nation!"

Bill Weasley- "Do us a favor Perce, and shut up."

Percy Weasley- "Complaining about the World Cup. They want compensation for their ruined property. Mundungus Fletcher's put in a claimfor a twelve-bedroomed tent with en-suit Jacuzzi, but I've got got his number. I know for a fact he was sleeping under a cloak propped on sticks."

Percy Weasley- "That was a sample of fertilizer from Norway! It was nothing personal!" Fred Weasley- "It was, we sent it."

Fred Weasley- "Anyone can speak troll, all you have to do is point and grunt."

Fred Weasley- "Charlie had to take the the test twice, he failed the first time, apparated five miles south of where he meant to, right on top of some poor old dear doing her shopping, remember?"

Fred Weasley- "Oh shut up, Weatherby."

Fred Weasley- "Now Mum, if the Hogwarts Express crashed tomorrow, and George and I died, how would you feel if the last thing we ever heard from you was an unfounded accusation?"

Fred Weasley- "Yeah, well, Dad collects plugs, doesn't he? Birds of a feather..."

Fred Weasley- "But before he went loony, he was the life and soul of a party. He would down a whole bottle of firewhiskey and start pulling flowers out of his - " Hermione- "Yes, he sounds a real charmer."

Hermione Granger- "Snape, sitting in Dumbledore's study! Merlin's pants!" Ron- "Merlin's pants? She must be upset."

Hermione Granger- "They wouldn't even notice him if he couldn't do that Wonky Faint thing!"

Hermione- What an idiot

Hermione Granger- "Boys!"

Luna Lovegood- "Good idea, Harry. Mistletoe is often infested with Nargles."

Luna Lovegood- "I've been able to see them since my first year here. You're just as sane as I am."

Albus Dumbledore- "I am not joking Mr. Weasley, though now that you mention it, I did hear an excellent one over the summer about a troll, a hag, and a leprechaun who all go into a bar..."

Proffesor Trewawney- " I think I am right in saying, my dear, that you were born in midwinter" Harry- "No. I was born in July."

Peeves- We did it! We bashed them! Wee Potter's the one! And Voldy's gone moldy, so now let's have fun!

Peeves- "Not doing nothing! Already wet aren't they?Little squirts! Wheeeeeeeeee!"

Peeves- "Shan't say nothing if you don't say please." Filch- "All right then, please!" Peeves- "NOTHING! I told you I wouldn't say nothing if you didn't say please!"

Nearly headless Nick- "Godd evening." Harry- "Says who?" (taking off his sneakers and emptying them of water.)

Malfoy- "Well, I can certainly see why we're trying to keep them alive. Who doesn't want pets that can burn, sting, and bite all at the same time."

Proffessor McGonagall- "Sir Cadogan, did you just let a man enter the Gryfindor tower?" Sir Cadogan- "Certainly, good lady!" Proffessor McGonagall- "You -- you did? But-- the password! Sir Cadogan- "He had 'em! Had the whole week's, my lady! Read 'em a little peice of paper!" Proffessor McGonagall- "Which person, which abysmally foolish person wrote down the week's passwords and left them lying around?"

The naroater-  'For Harry had conveniently forgotten to tell them that Sirius was innocent.'

Bulgarian Minister- "Vell, ve fought bravely."Fudge- "You can speak English! And you've been letting me mime everything all day!" Bulgarian minister- "Vell, it vos very funny."

Ministry official- "Muggle women wear them, Archie, not th men,they wear these." Archie Alderten- "I'm not putting them on, I like a nice breeze 'round my privates, thanks."